今日sol聞ける最後だー。明日からまたいろんなものとの戦いが始まる。。甘えたこと言わないで、頑張れ私。。 The one of the reason why I'm not really keen to go back to NZ and stay there for another one year is bc I feel I don't deserve to study abroad for such a long term.... I mean I'm still not confident of my English and I'm afraid that I wouldn't pass the university exam which is specialized in English. I don't deserve the money my parents have paid for me n I couldn't be the one who deserves it. I'm mostly losing my confidence, ambition n goal of next few years... but what I'm supposed to do is going back to NZ even how much I don't want to n how much I feel lonely. I don't want my parents to be disappointed with me again bc I regret that I have make them worry about me many times. So it's time. 逃げるは恥だが役に立つ。って、私はいろんなことから逃げてきて今はその後悔がずっとある。役になんてたたない。その場しのぎの判断は一生の後悔になる時がある。今は逃げる時じゃなくて、耐える時。一生分の後悔はしたくないから。